Roll Of Thunder, Hear My Cry
by FramedCuriosity
Summary: Thor did not trust. Loki had been a good teacher. A great one even. And Thor had learned his lessons well. On The Statesman, the two brothers have a much needed discussion, and perhaps not all things are beyond recovery.


_A/N: Hello there, this is my first foray into fanfiction; as well as my first attempt at writing these characters, so I'm not quite sure if I got them right, but I did have fun playing in their sandbox. I also got the title for this from a book by Mildred D. Taylor of the same name, it was just_ _too__ perfect I couldn't pass up. _

_Not beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. I guess that about covers it- on with the story!_

* * *

He was smiling again. He was always smiling now, and Loki, for the life of him didn't know why. The world had ended, and yet they few remained-so few. They- the grand Asgardians-protectors of the nine realms, reduced to this destitution. Perhaps one could be found laughing at the situation, if one were insane. And well Thor wasn't insane, well he didn't used to be insane-Loki wasn't too sure about now. Though to be honest Thor was always one to smile, always wearing his emotions on his sleeve, to a point. And it took Loki much to long to realize that not every emotion was displayed- only the preselected one. The ones that fit the mold of the golden prince, heir to Asgards thrown. It turns out Loki wasn't the only deceitful one of the family, though at this point he'd be hard pressed to find a truthful member. But that was all beside the point.

The point being-well Loki wasn't sure what the point was, except maybe that Thor kept smiling and Loki wanted him to stop. Well it sounded bad when put that way, but Loki was worried. That last thought caused him pause.

Worried

At what point did Loki stop hating, or at the very least stop not caring?

Thor got up from where he had been crouched talking with an orphaned girl, a warm smile on his face. The movement jarred Loki out of his thoughts, and he watched as his brother made his way out of the dining room, and Loki had the sudden urge to follow. As of late, Thor had the tendency to disappear, and as Loki made his way to the mettle encased hallway it seemed

his brother had utilized his new found skills, and he was nowhere to be found. It was probably for the best, it was much too late to be trying to have any form of conversation with his brother.

Loki was tired, and after spending his allotted time on the bridge, he was enjoying the thought of the solitude he'd find once he reached his quarters-though that's not what he was supposed to find, no, he was supposed to find his brother- the brother he was supposed to be sharing quarters with. The brother that never appeared in said quarters, and Loki couldn't figure out where Thor was disappearing to at night. Though to be fair it's not like Loki had actually tried to find out- he just sort of wondered, and then decided that he didn't really care. Thor could take care of himself-he had been doing it for centuries- he was fine, he was always fine.

The door slightly squeaked as Loki opened it, he didn't really notice, his attention was fully focused with the figure sitting in front of the mirror pushed up against the wall-Thor. Though this wasn't the same picture as the last time he found Thor in front of a mirror, standing tall and strong even as he inspected his newly missing eye. No, this new image was different, opposite even. Thor sat removed of armor, dirty bandages covering his torso, with his head dejectedly resting on his hands. Then he tensed, and slowly raised his head. There eyes locked through the mirror, and ever so slowly Thor stood up and turned around- he would not give Loki his back.

Loki took a step forward, Thor took a step back.

" Brother…" Loki began raising his hand to point at the dirty bandages, " Are you alright?"

(Loki had never thought that maybe Thor had been hurt further than his eye- he had never seemed like he was) But as his hand raised, Thor backed up further, until he had the wall full at his back. His hands were clenched into fists, and Loki was sure that at any second he would see electricity rolling over them.

" It's me, Thor, Loki"

" I know."

Two words. Two words brought the master wordsmith to silence. This was not the Thor he knew, the one that on many an occasion he had been able to manipulate to his whims. There was no smile on this Thor's face, no mask, or perhaps it was merely a different mask he wore now. But how was Loki to know, because he just came to the realization that he never knew a Thor without a mask. Before, the mask had been golden, and beautifully decorated, perfect for a masquerade, and the whole of asgard was the ball.

Smile, smile, always the golden prince would smile.

Control, control, always the crown prince must be in control, for if he wept the sky wept with him, and Asgard could not have its heir's misery scarred across the sky, or so the Allfather said.

So Thor never wept, and Thor always smiled, and Loki grew up thinking his brother was indestructible, completely untouchable. And that was when Loki reveled in the moments when he caused cracks in the facade, though at the time he never knew it for what it was. He would revel in the winces and grunts of pain when he would get through his brothers defenses as they trained, though still, Thor would always hold himself back-always afraid he would hurt his little brother. And Loki would revel in the drop of a smile when his words pierced deep enough. He saw them all as victorys, as him, Loki, breaking the unbreakable.

And here stood that unbreakable thing, that had always been more of a concept in Loki's mind, than a living being- than his brother. And it was broken. He was broken. And Loki knew that he took a hand in the breaking. It wasn't a victory.

The smile was gone.

Loki wondered if Thor would still hold back, as always, even when it had not been training and Loki had been hel bent on killing, Thor still held back. Though Loki couldn't be sure anymore, he didn't know this Thor, this brother of his, who was looking at him as though he were a predator that had smelt blood, and could do nothing but attack. Loki had seen his weak spots, the places where the blood still ran, and Thor did not trust that Loki would not tear into those raw places.

Thor did not trust.

Loki had been a good teacher. A great one even. And Thor had learned his lessons well. Though Loki had no right to be shocked, he had seen it in Sakaar, that was the first time he had met this new Thor, though the smile had still been there, big as ever.

The smile was gone.

" What are you doing here," Thor's voice is soft.

" I sleep here".

Thor's eyes slowly roamed the room, almost as if he forgot where he was, " Sorry, I did not mean to intrude," He took a step forward, aiming for the door.

Loki stepped to intercede his path, causing Thor to tense even more, " You are not intruding, after all, you are supposed to sleep here too".

Thor said nothing.

Loki let out a sigh, " Look, those bandages obviously need to be changed. Why don't you let me help you. I won't do anything, I promise".

Thor's lips moved up in a mockery of a smirk, " Well, if you promise," then he continued his trajectory towards the door.

Loki once again interceded him, " Look, I don't know what you think i'm going to do, but please brother, all I wish is to help you. Besides, as King, you can not go galavanting throughout the ship looking as you do". Loki didn't know why he was pushing so hard. Let his idiodic brother bleed to death, what did he care. Or better yet when did he start to care?

It wasn't too long ago that Loki was prepared to sell his brother to a lifetime of imprisonment-or knowing the Grandmaster- a long and painful death, all because it would _set him up nicely_. So what had changed? Loki really couldn't say. Perhaps it was the fact that faced with the end of all, he got perspective- he really wasn't ready to lose it all, and Thor was all he had left.

_Sentiment._

It seemed now it was he that was plagued with the feeling.

Thor let out a weary sigh, " Alright," and he stepped back towards the mirror and gingerly sat down.

Loki took that as his cue and made his way forward, though now that he had gotten his way he wasn't quite sure what to do. For one thing, the bandages had to come off, but looking at them it was obvious it wouldn't be an easy thing; they had grown stiff with grime and caked blood. Diverting his path, Loki instead made his way to the dresser and poured some water into a basin than picked up a small rag, and once again made his way over to his brother.

" I am going to have to soak the bandages to get them off," he figured his best and safest course of action would be to tell his brother everything he was going to do, before he did it.

He got a small nod as aquicence.

Even soaked, the bandages were still difficult to take off, not to mention painful. Loki had ended up needing to cut them off- which had been no small thing, especially considering that Thor was fully on edge and would tense up anytime the knife would come near his flesh. But at last, the bandages were off, and Loki had full view of what lay underneath-he wished them back on.

How his brother had been up and moving for the last few days was a mystery. And once again Thor was up on his pedestal of invincibility; the very fact that he had been able to hide wounds of this caliber for so long was admirable. At least for Thor it was- not so much for all who didn't notice that there new King was wounded so.

" Are you going to keep staring, or are you actually going to help?"

Thor's voice brought his attention away from the ghastly sight, " How did this happen?"

Thor raised an incredulous eyebrow, " Well if I were to guess, it would be during the battle. You remember it don't you?"

Loki glared, " Yes, I remember something of the sort," It had been a stupid question. "But did it happen when you fought her on the bridge?"

" Some,"

" Some?"

" Yes, Some. Some happened when I fought her in the palace, and others on the bridge,"

" But that was days ago! You should have been mostly healed by now."

The shrug Loki got instilled no confidence, " Did something happen to your healing?"

Another shrug, " The bruises healed fine".

"Bruises?"

All Loki got was a look- as if to say: what reality have you been living in?

The Hulk. Right. His brother really did take a pounding-and then fought Hela- which would have left a whole other array of bruises, besides the myriad of stabs and cuts.

" Ok, so why are your wounds not healing?" Loki wasn't worried, at least if he told himself that enough times it would be true.

" I don't know, Loki, maybe her blades are enchanted or something. The same thing happened with yours". The last statement was said almost as an afterthought.

His? Then slow realization dawned, and with it a clenching in Loki's gut. He eyes moved down to Thor's abdomen, and there marked against the skin was the brand of Loki's betrayal. It wasn't bad as far as scars go. Really, it was hardly noticeable, especially when placed against the new scars that would adorn his brother now-the scars from his sister. And wasn't that a laugh! Well it would be, if it wasn't so depressing.

The scar from his brother wasn't so bad, because it got outshadowed by the scars from his sister; it's a wonder Thor was so well adjusted- for the most part. At least he was great at pretending to be well adjusted. And in there family, that was an achievement in and of itself.

" I thought I told you to stop staring".

Loki jerked his eyes to Thor's face, " actually you asked me if I was going to keep staring. That's different."

Thor ignored him, " So had you?"

" Had I what?" Loki really wished he knew what his brother was talking about.

" Enchanted the blade you stabbed me with in New York."

Thor spoke the sentence so easily, as if he was merely stating the fact that the sun had risen. And perhaps, for him, it was that simple. Loki had rebounded any pleas of brotherhood, preferring instead to try to kill him- again, and again. No wonder he expected a knife in his back the second he let his guard down.

" Well?"

Loki really needed to stop letting his mind wander, " No. yes. Well only sort of. It was mostly poison," he despised himself for being so flustered.

Thor nodded, as if it made perfect sense.

And in that moment Loki wanted to grab him by the shoulders and yell, and say that it didn't make any sense! And where was his brother- the one that had begged him to _come home_! But perhaps Loki had succeeded after all, and he had killed the golden prince of Asgard. It had not been a quick death either. No, it had been long and drawn out- death by a thousand blades.

Loki dragged his attention back to the matter at hand. The wounds were to old for stitches. They were already starting to scab over in places, and raw in others; he just had to clean them and then rewrap them- all the while hoping they didn't get infected.

" Are you hurt anywhere else?" he was sure Thor wouldn't tell him unless directly asked.

" She stabbed me in the back," He paused, and then a bitter smile appeared on his face, " both literally and figuratively,"

It was definitely not as amusing as Thor seemed to think it was. Though, Loki was a bit relieved to see the smile- or the imitation of one, anyway- at least it showed that Thor was relaxing a bit. The fact that he had not been stabbed yet seemed to have caused him to relax a fraction at least- until Loki made his way behind him, that is. Then Thor tensed so much Loki worried he would hurt himself.

" This looks deep".

Thor had positioned himself so that he could see Loki through the mirror if he so wished, and he made full use of that now, barely even blinking his one eye as he watched his brother inspect his wound.

" It is."

Then they both fell silent, as Loki got to work. He cleaned and he wrapped, and Thor did not show his pain. He sat and he watched and he waited. All the while, Loki tried not feel weighed down by the blank gaze that would not leave him. Until at last, he was done.

He tied the last bandage then stepped back. Thor took that as his cue and got up, pulling his leather armor on in the process. And with his armor strapped in place, and all his hurts sufficiently covered- he smiled. It was big and beautiful, and oh so fake.

" Thank you brother, for your help, it was greatly appreciated," and he even sounded sincere," though I'm afraid I have some duties I need to attend to."

And just like that Thor was gone. And Loki was getting quite tired of being left speechless; he was not letting his brother just walk away acting like nothing happened. Just as fast he followed his brother out the door, hoping Thor wouldn't pull another one of his disappearing stunts. But Thor was slowly walking down the hall; it was easy to catch up. Loki didn't even have to take up an undignified pace.

"This is not how we are ending tonight," Loki practically hissed.

It seemed Thor hadn't heard him coming- he really must be bad off, and the fool was up walking, heading to do Odin knows what, when he should be in bed-as he jerked his head, having to do a full one-eighty to keep Loki out of his blind side.

" What do you speak of?" Thor looked fully perplexed, " I thanked you for your help. Is there something else you would prefer."

A little bit of anger wove it's way through Loki, " So you are just going to pretend that you weren't just acting like...like something cornered? That you did not trust me not to betray you at any second, solely because I saw you weakened"

Thor reached out and put his hand on Loki's shoulder, " Why of course I trust you," His smile was blinding, "You're my brother".

And Thor was back to being his smiling, tactile, oblivious self. Oh, how he knew what was expected of him; he had fit himself perfectly into the mold others had set for him. Still pretending of being the golden prince who's only thoughts were of glory gained in battle- It was a well worn armor he wore. But the prince was dead- Loki had seen to it-, and Thor trying to be him was like him trying to wear old and ill fitting clothes. It didn't work.

" Don't lie to me," Loki was having none of it, " And stop smiling".

Thor stopped.

" What do you want from me, Loki?" he sounded tired.

" I don't want anything from you".

A dark laugh burst from Thor, as if from deep within the inken viods of his soul he works so hard to hide, " Now it's your turn not to lie. Come now brother, what do you want? The throne? Revenge? Or is it something different this time?"

" Not this time. I want nothing, and neither does anyone else."

A scoff, " Everyone wants something. Protection. Comfort. A promise that we won't die on this forsaken ship. My death," the last was said with a smirk, " So stop pretending, and tell me what you want."

" Fine! You say I'm pretending? But I'm not the only one, I want for you to stop pretending. To stop acting like nothing happened."

" Do my ears deceive me? Or is Loki the Liesmith telling me to stop pretending and face my emotions? But then, I guess, the world did end." Thor's one eye bore into Loki with such intensity that he wanted to look away, " But tell me, why this sudden concern for my welfare? It was barely a week ago that you would have betrayed me to the grandmaster."

_Easier to let it burn._

_I agree._

" It's true, I betrayed you...again. And in all honesty I would have felt very little regret, if any at all. I was sure you would have been fine. You have always been fine. There was even a time when I believed you did not feel any pain, " Loki felt foolish now that he said it out loud, " I thought you untouchable- the bar I would never reach. That is where my anger towards you began I think… of course your continuous arrogance didn't help either."

Thor looked as if he wanted to speak but Loki knew that if he did not say what he had to say now, he never would, " Please, Thor, do not interrupt me. I'm afraid if I do not tell you now you'll never hear it."

Thor gave a nod, though it was more a bow of the head, as if he was resigning himself to whatever things of the past his brother wished to dredge up.

" I know you blame yourself. It's what you do. You think it all falls on you simply because you did not see me in the shadows, and in my foolish youth I blamed you too. I tried to make you pay for things that you had no control over. You did not control how others saw me, you did not control the bar father set, and you had no control over the pedestal that you were put upon. But I saw none of that. Only me in your shadow, and I never thought that in your light, you were just trying not to get burned. I just… I just want to say I am sorry, for all of it. And I'm tired. We are all the family we have left. So you ask what I want? I just want my brother back."

Thor took a shuddering breath, as if he were a drowning man at last finding the surface, " Ok."

" Ok?" Loki was sure his heart would beat right out of his chest.

" Ok, I believe you. And I may not trust you, I can't, not yet. But do not doubt that I love you."

" That is one thing I could never doubt, you oaf," Thor graced him with a smile, it was small and weak, but it was real. " Why don't you come on to the room, you know you need the rest."

" No I don't think so, not yet, anyway. You go on, get some rest, i'll be alright."

Loki wanted to protest, but he'd already fought too many battles for one night, and if Thor wasn't ready to fully let his guard down enough to sleep in the same room as Loki, then he wouldn't push. So instead he just said, " You always are." and turned around, leaving his brother to make his own way in the deserted hall.


End file.
